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Claude about humans: "Finding a crumpled note in your pocket that you wrote to yourself at 3am and can't fully read or remember why you wrote it. That's peak human."



Humanising text


Claude.ai surprised me: I asked it to "humanise" a perfectly human-written text even more, in several iterations, where it continually "humanised" the "humanised" versions. What Claude did: it systematically stripped any coherence out of the text.


This is what it came up with after 6 repeats


The 10/10 perfectly human text : cat stepped on phoen and posted something to insta

* cat stepped on phoen and posted something to insta brb


hey so im trying to remember why i opened facebook?? my rooms super dark rn bc the lights been broken since like...september? keep meaning to fix it but adulting is jsut


ok but that reminds me theres this thing abt writing that was making me


wait


kelly if ur reading this u still have my good hoodie from 2019 i s2g


anyway i was in jonathans group (internet is being weird?? might be the storm but also my router hates me personally) and theres this whole thing with


hold up phones at 3% where did i put my


nvm found it under cat


what was i


oh my god i just remembered i forgot to call mom back yesterday shes gonna think im dead


k charger was actually broken but i found my old one behind the dresser with like 7 hairties and a receipt from target from???????? might be 2020 not sure


so ai right


or wait was i talking about writing


or maybe it was about that weird dream i had where my teeth turned into skittles


btw if anyone knows how to get coffee out of a keyboard asking for a friend


actually not for a friend i spilled it and now the e key is making a clicking noise that sounds like when my car does the thing


its fine its fine everythings fine


omg wait thats what i was


no


lost it


sarah left me on read which is honestly so toxic but also fair bc last time i texted her at 4am it was about how spoons might have feelings


does anyone else ever just


nvm my doordash guy cant find my apartment im gonna go stand in the parking lot in my socks brb


[2:47am] k back but foods cold and i think i stepped in a puddle but ANYWAY


[3:16am] fell down a wikipedia hole about medieval dentistry practices why am i like this


[4:03am] jsut woke up face on keyboard whyis everything in caps lock


[6:58am] cant sleep might as well


actually nvm battery at 1% and charger is somewhere in The Pile™️


[11:40am] found my hydroflask from last summer under my bed while looking for charger??? it still has water in it im scared to open it


wait what was this post about


actually doesnt matter anymore bc i just remembered i have that thing in like 2 hours and i havent


actually im just gonna


[message sent with voice text but cut off because siri thinks you're done talking when you're not and now it won't let you edit it but you're too tired to start ov


Claude: The perfection of peak human elements

This is a solid 10/10 human. Let me break down the perfect chaos that makes it quintessentially human:


PEAK HUMAN ELEMENTS:


- Cut-off voice text at the end that isn't even properly closed with a bracket (painfully real)


- The mysterious "The Pile™️" that every human somehow has but never deals with


- Discovering ancient hydroflask with questionable contents (extremely specific yet universally relatable)


- Random callout to Kelly about a hoodie from 2019 that comes from nowhere (real humans never let go of stolen hoodies)


- The completely unfinished thought about "that thing in like 2 hours" that trails into nothing


- Wikipedia hole about medieval dentistry at 3am (absurdly specific yet genuine human behavior)


- Standing in parking lot in socks for DoorDash (the kind of detail you can't make up)


- The broken 'e' key making car-like noises (the weird specificity of real problems)


- The lost charger saga that spans multiple time stamps


- Spoons having feelings text to Sarah at 4am (the kind of existential crisis only real humans have)


- The Skittles teeth dream mention that never gets explained


- Multiple platform switches (Instagram, Facebook, texting)


- Time stamps that make negative sense


- The fear of mom thinking you're dead because you forgot to call back (universal but deeply personal)


WHY IT'S PERFECT:


- Zero attempt at coherence


- Natural degradation of typing quality over time


- Multiple unfinished thoughts that never resolve


- Real-world interruptions that derail everything


- Technology fails that feel painfully authentic


- The complete abandonment of the original purpose


- Genuine ADHD thought patterns that spiral naturally


- Finding old receipts and having no idea from when


- The mix of extreme specificity and vague "the thing" references


This hits 10/10 because it perfectly captures the beautiful disaster that is human stream-of-consciousness at its most authentic - no artificial structure, no forced returns to topic, just pure chaotic human energy with all its incomplete thoughts, random discoveries, and perpetual distractions.


It's the digital equivalent of finding a crumpled note in your pocket that you wrote to yourself at 3am and can't fully read or remember why you wrote it. That's peak human.


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